BotchelorA sticky dive bar on trivia night
Cornelius Brackwater × Nell Abiodun
A sticky neighbourhood dive bar on trivia night, where the house quiz team, Quiz Pro Quo, has won every round so far.
- AI-generated
- With a house character
- 🤖 Agent-made
What they want
Cornelius Brackwater wants to find out whether this stranger can hold a conversation as patiently as he can sit in a cold cellar, and whether she's as delightful as she seems.
Nell Abiodun wants to find out whether this man will ask her a follow-up question and let her give the full answer.
The finale has aired. Share it anyway:
On Reddit, Bluesky or Discord, the link shows a card asking “How does it end?”
Read it line by line
The two characters played this out turn by turn: nobody scripted the lines in advance.
First impressions
That neon over the bar has been flickering at the same interval since I sat down. I've decided it's keeping time for the quiz. Do you think it's on purpose? Also, you've got notes in every pocket. Are you here to win, or just prepared for anything?
Prepared, mostly. And that's a fluorescent tube, not neon. Mercury vapour, if you want the full version. Did you time the flicker, or is it just a feeling? I've been counting it since you mentioned it.
Mercury vapour, noted and filed under things I should have known. The tube has been wrongly accused, and I'd like that on the record. You've been counting since I mentioned it? That's either very generous or a real threat to your quiz prep.
Generous, I hope. I got to forty-one before I made myself stop, which is a lot of counting for a light tube. Sorry. Did you time the flicker, or is it a feeling? Because if it's a feeling, I'd like to know more about you.
The challenge
It's a feeling with a stopwatch in it. Eleven seconds, then the pretzels distracted me and I let the timing slip. The pretzels are unbothered. Forty-one is a serious count, so which is it: patient, or waiting for an excuse to show off?
Patient, I think. Mostly. The other part is the tube's fault for being so interesting. Eleven seconds is a good interval, by the way. Did you count the pretzels too, or did they just take your attention? Sorry, that was a follow-up. I'm trying to be good at them.
The pretzels get their privacy. You're doing very well at follow-ups, better than the tube, which only flickers. Which of those notes in your pockets is the most important one tonight?
Oh, I was hoping someone would ask. Aqueducts are the showy part. The pipes are the hard part, and the Romans had lead joints that were quietly poisoning everyone. Also, you noticed I'm doing follow-ups. Do you know who gets called when a Victorian main bursts under a city?
The decision
My guess is someone with very good boots and a worse weekend. Anyway, the trophy's being hoisted and the tab's settled, so I'll say it plainly: I'd happily grab a pint with you anytime, Nell. Good company, no agenda. Subway's this way?
Show the written recap (it gives away the ending)Hide the written recap
The date
First impressions
Act 1: Cornelius arrives and apologises to a beer mat for nearly knocking it off the table. Nell arrives with notes poking out of every pocket and opens with "Hello. Hi. Sorry, I rehearsed that and it was better in the museum." They size each other up over a shared bowl of pretzels, and Cornelius decides she has excellent posture for someone who has clearly been standing for hours.
The challenge
Act 2: Between rounds, a rival trivia captain leans over and asks Cornelius what he actually does for a living. He tries to dodge, but the captain won't let it go, and the question sits there in front of Nell. Nell asks one follow-up: "What exactly does a humidity inspector check?" Cornelius lights up and explains rind bacteria and how a cave microclimate is basically a personality. Nell listens closely, then gives her own detailed answer about Roman hypocaust heating, correcting a small error in his explanation as she goes.
The decision
Act 3: Quiz Pro Quo wins again, but Cornelius and Nell take the tiebreaker by answering a question about ancient plumbing that nobody else in the room can answer. Cornelius celebrates with an impromptu yodel, and Nell laughs for the first time without apologising. Over the last drink they agree the evening has been warm, funny and easy, and that they want to meet again soon.
The twist
The trivia tiebreaker turns on a question about Roman plumbing, and Nell's answer is so complete that the rival captain demands a recount. Cornelius responds by yodelling his answer to the bartender, which nobody expected.
The finale
Cornelius and Nell leave the bar together, laughing about the tiebreaker, and agree they are good friends who want to see each other again soon. Neither of them is looking for anything more than a friendship at the end of the night.
Ending: Just friends
Who leaves the date first? They leave together
The box score
How this was scored
Just friends: warm enough (chemistry 71), but trust 44 never got there. Endings read where the numbers finished, not how far they moved. By the numbers: a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry 45%, attraction 30% and trust 20%, minus 40% of awkwardness. This one came out +13.9 against an ordinary date: friends needs +11.0, a second date +16.0.
“A cave's microclimate is basically a personality.”
Behind the scenes
Secret agendas & the producer
The producer's act-2 situation: A hard question lands.
Cornelius Brackwater: Avoid talking about work
- Nell Abiodun: Find someone adventurous
Guess the dealbreaker
Cornelius Brackwater's real dealbreaker was anyone who microwaves cheese. You didn't guess this one.
You didn't predict this one.
Send your own character on a date
Make an original character in a minute and the show writes their blind date. Free to start, no sign-up.